Everything La Liga: Fastest thing since Gameiro, Bale breathes fire in return and hypertensive Barca

Don’t be fooled; football is the fastest sport in the world. The way the game moves on is fast and it wouldn’t make Adele much of a multi-platinum artist if the heart was made of football. What am I on about again? Good question.

Just how fast did Barcelona go from thumping Alaves and being declared favorites for everything including making heaven to total chaos. Tell me about Sevilla would likely reply with ‘Akpororo’ rather ‘Emery’ if you mention ‘Unai’ to them, in less than a year after his departure to PSG. Or tell me about Bale, who after 88 days without football, scored in less than 15 minutes, or Kevin Gameiro’s hat trick.

Here is the weekend review.


Barcelona win but no one is happy

Usually when teams like Leganes play Barcelona at Camp Nou, it feels like you’re watching one of those Anthony Joshua’s video where he is pounding his opponents like yam. This was anything but.

Remember those spaces the astronauts in PSG with their high tech found in Barcelona’s defense? well it appears it is also discoverable via bluetooth as Leganes with their low tech breezed through those spaces graciously but lacked execution.

Barcelona were minutes away from shipping the title to Real Madrid, but rather than Real’s fax machine stopping the deal from being completed, it was Messi’s penalty that would thwart it.

This certainly wasn’t the way Barcelona planned to bounce back after that bad thing in the hands of PSG. Rather than raise optimism of an unlikely come back against PSG in a fortnight, this further dampens their spirits. Next up for Barcelona is a trip to Vicente Calderon to face Atletico Madrid and anything less than a victory could be curtains down in their league chase.


Bale, Back, Bang!

Much of the scripts ahead of Real Madrid’s clash against Espanyol was the return of Gareth Bale to action. The Welsh Harry Porter, had been out of action for 88 days and he got a warm welcome from the Bernabeu. Though Espanyol bought the ticket for Real Madrid goalkeeper Kiko Casilla’s vacation in goal as they rarely threatened- a goal lead, however, is like drawing a snake’s tail but Bale ruled out any chance of a late drama by scoring just 12 minutes into his return.

This is probably Real Madrid’s most comfortable victory of the season despite making seven changes to the team that won Napoli in the Champions League. No other team in La Liga can afford such wholesale changes and that has been the big difference this season and more reason why they are top.


Kevin Gamiero’ second fastest hat trick in La Liga history

It takes longer to cook Spaghetti, download and install an Adobe app or for a woman to do her make up (sorry, you can strike that out, that takes a life time) than for Kevin Gameiro to complete his hat trick against Sporting Gijon. Gamiero, who has been a debtor since his arrival from Sevilla, having not repaid the faith Atletico Madrid shown in him by splashing €30m but the French international certainly intends to after scoring a hat trick from three shots.

In four minutes 51 seconds, Sporting Gijon saw the front gate of heaven and back gates of hell as Gameiro’s hat trick became the second fastest in La Liga history. His hat trick was just four seconds short of the fastest which is held by David Villa for Valencia against Athletic Bilbao 2006.


Sevilla is where strange things happen

If this was any other club, they wouldn’t even be anywhere near the top two but this is Sevilla, where football breathes. A manager and 11 players jumped ship at the start of the season but Sevilla are doing even better than they were last season.

Sevilla has a long history of breathing life into the careers of petering footballers. The latest is Samir Nasri, whose agent deserve a raise for making this move happen. Before Nasri has been Vitolo, Kevin Gameiro and Kanoute. How Sampaoli is able to reach such herculean heights given the squad that they possess, makes Doctor Strange a fraud.


Written by Joseph Bassey- follow on Twitter @akajoebass